Hurrah! It appears that I really can guff out words on almost any subject matter. Here’s 750 of them on the Wizard of Oz, apparently due for a remake, which appeared in The National today. Next up, a 4,000 word feature on South American wind patterns and an op-ed on the state of China’s steel industry.

In the meantime, exciting news has swooped in from the sunshine Emirate of Fujeirah, which is hoping to snatch the Guinness Record for the world’s highest sword throw. Apparently, organisers of the sword toss this Friday will measure the height either by GPS tracking, horizontal laser or balloons set at one metre intervals. Alas, I’m not down to attend, unless someone fancies commissioning me to write a dazzling 3,000 word critique of this culturally map-changing event.